Sunday, July 27, 2008

Almost Time

Less than two weeks.  That's how much time I have left at home.  Then out to sea for 4 more months.  It seems like we just got back.  If things go as planned, this will be my last big underway on this ship before I transfer.  I am looking forward to getting it over with and getting back to some degree of normalcy.  I feel guilty for not being home more, for not doing more things when I am home.  T is the mostest wonderfullest husband I could ever ask for - he is so devoted and endlessly patient and helpful.  I want to repay the efforts he has put into me.  Into us.  
I am also having a hard time centering my creativity.  I feel rushed to accomplish anything.  The ideas come to me fleetingly and I fear that by the time I can sit and create, that they'll be gone.  I have tons of projects and stash and pictures, but no time to put it all together.  And I am dreading the four months of sterility. I can't figure out how to take little bits with me to spark my creativity.  Journaling will be a must.  But I am a tactile artist.  I feel incomplete without a pile of paper.  I have yet to recover creatively from the last six month sabbatical; though that is probably because this four months was already looming above me.  The sooner it starts, the sooner I feel I can get on with living.

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